"Brilliantly odd and piratey . . .
delightfully deranged" -
www. bilgemunky.com
delightfully deranged" -
www. bilgemunky.com
"A hilariously adventurous
journey . . . sure to captivate
immature audiences of all ages" -
Points North Magazine
journey . . . sure to captivate
immature audiences of all ages" -
Points North Magazine
"My reading
group thought it
was ace!" -
Vanessa
Williamson,
Anerley Library,
London
Borough of
Bromley
group thought it
was ace!" -
Vanessa
Williamson,
Anerley Library,
London
Borough of
Bromley
"Exciting science fiction and pirate
adventure . . . wildly fantastical" -
Andrea Thigpen, Georgia Library
Quarterly
adventure . . . wildly fantastical" -
Andrea Thigpen, Georgia Library
Quarterly
The first Young Adult Book ever
picked for WABE-FM 90.1's
Between the Lines Recommended
Reading List
picked for WABE-FM 90.1's
Between the Lines Recommended
Reading List
Buy a non-pirated
copy at . . .
copy at . . .
Available to
schools and
libraries
through Follett,
Ingram, and
Baker & Taylor
schools and
libraries
through Follett,
Ingram, and
Baker & Taylor
Savannah
Children's
Book
Festival
The
Blackbeard the Pirate's lesser-known,
not-quite-as-successful cousin, Short
Stubbly Brownbeard, leads a normal,
boring life of respectability and social
engagements. All of that changes one
night while working late at the office.
Brownbeard is attacked by a mob of angry
numbers thirsty for the blood of a young
accountant. Fearing for his mental
balance, Brownbeard leaves his desk job
to become a pirate.
With the aid of dysfunctional but
semi-competent crew, Brownbeard finds
himself across the galaxy on the most
ambitious heist ever. In the Empire of
Sa'Laam, with its miles high and miles
deep towers, Brownbeard and crew hatch a
wickedly devious plan to swindle the
Emperor of his wealth. But in Sa'Laam,
the game of Empire is for real - it's played
every night in front of millions of fans -
and it's played for keeps.
If Brownbeard participates, he'll have to
face both the sinister truth behind the
facade of Sa'Laam, and his own greed and
complacency. But that will necessitate a
fight to the death, requiring a courage and
resolve Brownbeard has never possessed.
Can he win the game? Or will his first
adventure as a pirate be his last?
not-quite-as-successful cousin, Short
Stubbly Brownbeard, leads a normal,
boring life of respectability and social
engagements. All of that changes one
night while working late at the office.
Brownbeard is attacked by a mob of angry
numbers thirsty for the blood of a young
accountant. Fearing for his mental
balance, Brownbeard leaves his desk job
to become a pirate.
With the aid of dysfunctional but
semi-competent crew, Brownbeard finds
himself across the galaxy on the most
ambitious heist ever. In the Empire of
Sa'Laam, with its miles high and miles
deep towers, Brownbeard and crew hatch a
wickedly devious plan to swindle the
Emperor of his wealth. But in Sa'Laam,
the game of Empire is for real - it's played
every night in front of millions of fans -
and it's played for keeps.
If Brownbeard participates, he'll have to
face both the sinister truth behind the
facade of Sa'Laam, and his own greed and
complacency. But that will necessitate a
fight to the death, requiring a courage and
resolve Brownbeard has never possessed.
Can he win the game? Or will his first
adventure as a pirate be his last?
Great Links (updated 07/02/10)
Plastic Chef: What do Palin and
Pelosi agree on? That beans
make any dish delish! Get your
spatula and whisk out!
Pelosi agree on? That beans
make any dish delish! Get your
spatula and whisk out!
Comics: Dogs, Cats &
Ferrets Gone Wild
Ferrets Gone Wild
Photo Americana
There was a day back in 1983 when
Marietta, Georgia ruled the world of
rock n' roll. And the Big Chicken
introduced a nation to the New South.
Marietta, Georgia ruled the world of
rock n' roll. And the Big Chicken
introduced a nation to the New South.
Music Video Lost Treasure!
The Ghosts of Georgia
The Haunted Golf Course
Like Deliverance, but with plaid pants
Like Deliverance, but with plaid pants
| Parrots be the preferred pirate pet. Monkeys are an acceptable substitute, unless they be flingin' their poop at people. Then they’re an awesome substitute. - Blackbeard |
contact: alan(at)alanjlevine(dot)com
Losing Your Religion? Here's Help . . .
History Americana
Videos Too Good for Hollywood
Good Dogs, Bad
Dog Owners
Dog Owners
Is it wrong to 'let' your dog don your
delicate dainties? Here, our lab wears my
tighty-whities. Quick, someone call PETA.
I don't think I can stop myself!
delicate dainties? Here, our lab wears my
tighty-whities. Quick, someone call PETA.
I don't think I can stop myself!
Copyright Alan J. Levine
Disclaimer: No dogs were harmed during
the taking of the above photographs. Only
their dignity was 'stripped'.
the taking of the above photographs. Only
their dignity was 'stripped'.
Non-Bad Piratical News and Junk
Inside Our Treasure Trunk
Inside Our Treasure Trunk
Bad Pirate News
The
Where Will the Ghosts Go?
Southern culture on the skids in
Marietta, Georgia
Southern culture on the skids in
Marietta, Georgia
| How to thwart a pirate attack: The best form of defense is to ensure that a threat of an attack is detected at an early stage. In most incidents, as soon as the pirates know they’ve been spotted, they will abandon the attack. A proper all-round lookout using all available means is of vital importance. Be aware of the sea locations and ports affected by piracy. The crew must be vigilant and inform the bridge officer of anything suspicious. Conduct a drill prior to entering a high risk area. This will ensure emergency communication procedures are tested. Ensure all crew are fully aware of alarm procedures and muster stations Keeping in mind multi-national crews, all internal communications should be carried out in the working language of the ship. Prior to entering high risk areas, the Master needs to ensure well-rested and additional crew are on watch at all times. Ensure blind spots and dark areas are lit up without hampering safe navigation and lookout duties. The deck watch should work in pairs at all times. Reports should be made from deck to bridge at regular intervals. Failure to receive a deck report is the first indication there is something wrong. Rig and pressurize fire hoses prior to entering high risk areas. In the event of attack: 1. Raise alarm and muster crew. 2. Increase speed. 3. Commence evasive maneuvers using bow-wave and stern-wash to prevent small boats from approaching close to the ship. 4. Identify the mother vessel and move away from it. 5. Steam away from land, heading into the sea and swell. This makes it more difficult for boats to come alongside. 6. In the event of pirates boarding and gaining control of the bridge it is essential to try to keep calm and follow the instructions of the pirates. Avoid physical confrontation. 7. The Master should at all times endeavor to keep the vessel in command to prevent collision or grounding. |
for July 2010
Cement carrier robbed
Location: Georgetown Roads, Guyana
Date: July 3, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
Robbers in a small boat approached a
cement carrier at anchor. They
boarded the ship, broke into and
burgled the bosun’s store. An alarm
was raised and authorities informed.
Location: Georgetown Roads, Guyana
Date: July 3, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
Robbers in a small boat approached a
cement carrier at anchor. They
boarded the ship, broke into and
burgled the bosun’s store. An alarm
was raised and authorities informed.
Chemical tanker taken
Location: 13:16N – 042:56E, Bab el
Mandeb, Red Sea
Date: July 4, 2010 (ongoing)
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
Armed pirates attacked and hijacked a
chemical tanker along with its 18 crew.
Location: 13:16N – 042:56E, Bab el
Mandeb, Red Sea
Date: July 4, 2010 (ongoing)
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
Armed pirates attacked and hijacked a
chemical tanker along with its 18 crew.
Robbers seen, but too late
Location: 01:19.5N–104:15.6E,
lightering area, Johor port, Malaysia.
Date: July 7, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
Crew members on deck patrol noticed
a small motor boat moving away from
the ship’s stern. After the duty officer
on the bridge was informed, the fire
station door was found open. Ship
equipment had been stolen.
Location: 01:19.5N–104:15.6E,
lightering area, Johor port, Malaysia.
Date: July 7, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
Crew members on deck patrol noticed
a small motor boat moving away from
the ship’s stern. After the duty officer
on the bridge was informed, the fire
station door was found open. Ship
equipment had been stolen.
Burglars burgle berth
Location: 09:31N–013:43W,
Conakry berth no. 4, Guinea
Date: July 8, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
Robbers boarded a berthed vehicle
carrier via the forward mooring ropes.
They stole ship stores and escaped.
Location: 09:31N–013:43W,
Conakry berth no. 4, Guinea
Date: July 8, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
Robbers boarded a berthed vehicle
carrier via the forward mooring ropes.
They stole ship stores and escaped.
Pirates flee in Red Sea
Location: 13:20N–042:55E, North of
Bab el Mandeb, Red Sea and
15:29.2N–041:42.4E, Red Sea
Date: July 9, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
Two carriers, both underway, were
approached by high speed fishing boats
– none with any fishing equipment – in
the Red Sea. Both carriers successfully
employed evasive maneuvers, though
one attacking boat made it to within 50
meters before fire hoses and search
lights caused it to abort. The other
carrier was attacked by two boats and
had to fire three rocket flares before
the pirates turned their scurvy tails.
Location: 13:20N–042:55E, North of
Bab el Mandeb, Red Sea and
15:29.2N–041:42.4E, Red Sea
Date: July 9, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
Two carriers, both underway, were
approached by high speed fishing boats
– none with any fishing equipment – in
the Red Sea. Both carriers successfully
employed evasive maneuvers, though
one attacking boat made it to within 50
meters before fire hoses and search
lights caused it to abort. The other
carrier was attacked by two boats and
had to fire three rocket flares before
the pirates turned their scurvy tails.
Annie's Ghost
A dumb want-to-be journalist spends
the night alone in a supposedly haunted
house instead of with his beautiful wife -
on their anniversary no less. If someone's
not in a grave by the end of the story, it
must be a crock.
A dumb want-to-be journalist spends
the night alone in a supposedly haunted
house instead of with his beautiful wife -
on their anniversary no less. If someone's
not in a grave by the end of the story, it
must be a crock.
Sad-sacks with
short-swords scram
Location: Chittagong anchorage,
Bangladesh
Date: July 12, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
4 robbers armed with knives boarded
a bulk carrier via the stern using ropes.
Spotted, the alarm was raised and the
attack aborted. The scurrilous
scoundrels scurried - that is, they
escaped. There were no injuries to
crew and nothing was stolen.
short-swords scram
Location: Chittagong anchorage,
Bangladesh
Date: July 12, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
4 robbers armed with knives boarded
a bulk carrier via the stern using ropes.
Spotted, the alarm was raised and the
attack aborted. The scurrilous
scoundrels scurried - that is, they
escaped. There were no injuries to
crew and nothing was stolen.
Nigerian pirates take
hostages to shore
Location: 04:11.25N–006:55.04E, off
Bonny port, Nigeria
Date: July 2, 2010 (reported 7/14/10)
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
12 armed pirates in 2 boats boarded a
general cargo ship underway. Master
raised alarm, activated SSAS, sent
distress message and mustered crew.
The pirates attacked the crewmembers
with guns and stole crew personal
property. One crew was injured. The
pirates kidnapped 12 crew members
and took them ashore. They only left
the injured crew onboard. Later the
Nigerian navy boarded the ship and
sailed it to a safe port. The injured
crew was taken to hospital. The 12
crewmembers were released by the
pirates after two days without any
injuries.
hostages to shore
Location: 04:11.25N–006:55.04E, off
Bonny port, Nigeria
Date: July 2, 2010 (reported 7/14/10)
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
12 armed pirates in 2 boats boarded a
general cargo ship underway. Master
raised alarm, activated SSAS, sent
distress message and mustered crew.
The pirates attacked the crewmembers
with guns and stole crew personal
property. One crew was injured. The
pirates kidnapped 12 crew members
and took them ashore. They only left
the injured crew onboard. Later the
Nigerian navy boarded the ship and
sailed it to a safe port. The injured
crew was taken to hospital. The 12
crewmembers were released by the
pirates after two days without any
injuries.
Pirates skedaddle after
being yelled at
Location: 01:58.9N – 108:43.E,
Around 5 nm NE of Muri Island,
Indonesia
Date: July 14, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
9 pirates attempted to board a general
cargo vessel underway. The pirates
had secured a line to the vessel when
an alert watchman sighted the pirates
and raised the alarm. The duty officer
took evasive maneuvers and shouted at
the pirates. The pirates aborted the
boarding and moved away.
being yelled at
Location: 01:58.9N – 108:43.E,
Around 5 nm NE of Muri Island,
Indonesia
Date: July 14, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
9 pirates attempted to board a general
cargo vessel underway. The pirates
had secured a line to the vessel when
an alert watchman sighted the pirates
and raised the alarm. The duty officer
took evasive maneuvers and shouted at
the pirates. The pirates aborted the
boarding and moved away.
Sea scoundrels seek seismic
science stuff!
Location: 04:16N–008:52E, off the
coast of Cameroon
Date: July 25, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
Who knew pirates were interested in
earthquakes? Who knew scientists
travelled around with their own hired-
guns? A seismic survey vessel
supported by four chase boats with
armed personnel on board was
approached by two boats with six
armed robbers in each boat. The boats
approached and fired upon one chase
boat and attempted to board. The
armed guards returned fire resulting in
the boats moving away.
Interviewed later, one of the pirates,
Shaky Sid said, “Arrrgh! Blast ‘em!
We be a-needin’ that data so our intern
can complete his thesis on underwater
earthquakes and it’s effect on the
stability of buried booty beneath the
waves.”
When asked about other means of
obtaining this coveted data, Sid replied,
“Half the crew lost their library cards –
half had ‘em revoked – an’ the other
half only read Danielle Steel novels.”
science stuff!
Location: 04:16N–008:52E, off the
coast of Cameroon
Date: July 25, 2010
Source: ICC Commercial Crime
Services
Who knew pirates were interested in
earthquakes? Who knew scientists
travelled around with their own hired-
guns? A seismic survey vessel
supported by four chase boats with
armed personnel on board was
approached by two boats with six
armed robbers in each boat. The boats
approached and fired upon one chase
boat and attempted to board. The
armed guards returned fire resulting in
the boats moving away.
Interviewed later, one of the pirates,
Shaky Sid said, “Arrrgh! Blast ‘em!
We be a-needin’ that data so our intern
can complete his thesis on underwater
earthquakes and it’s effect on the
stability of buried booty beneath the
waves.”
When asked about other means of
obtaining this coveted data, Sid replied,
“Half the crew lost their library cards –
half had ‘em revoked – an’ the other
half only read Danielle Steel novels.”