Aliens on My Back Porch
by Alan J. Levine
by Alan J. Levine
I’ve always been simultaneously attracted to
and repelled by the insect world. Roaches
are repulsive to me. Recently as I turned off
the water after my morning shower, I had the
pleasure of discovering that a giant water
bug had been sharing the hot water with me.
Promptly snatching up a large wad of toilet
paper to protect my hand from bug entrails, I
choked down an urge to shriek like a little
girl and proceeded to bludgeon my shower
companion with all the precision of a
Neanderthal neurosurgeon. Sometimes
showering with a friend isn’t all it’s cracked
up to be.
and repelled by the insect world. Roaches
are repulsive to me. Recently as I turned off
the water after my morning shower, I had the
pleasure of discovering that a giant water
bug had been sharing the hot water with me.
Promptly snatching up a large wad of toilet
paper to protect my hand from bug entrails, I
choked down an urge to shriek like a little
girl and proceeded to bludgeon my shower
companion with all the precision of a
Neanderthal neurosurgeon. Sometimes
showering with a friend isn’t all it’s cracked
up to be.
But as ugly as roaches and water bugs seem
to me, there are enchanting butterflies and
orb weavers that inhabit the insect world
too. It was on a warm and buggy night that I
noticed a praying mantis on the back porch.
I’ve held giant praying mantises before, but
to me, there are enchanting butterflies and
orb weavers that inhabit the insect world
too. It was on a warm and buggy night that I
noticed a praying mantis on the back porch.
I’ve held giant praying mantises before, but
this one was small and delicate in appearance. The poor creature was missing a hind leg.
Not content to just watch the creature, I reached out a giant, clumsy hand and tried to coax
my little visitor onto it. But she would have no part of this. With each oafish move I made,
she scampered or flew to a place just a few inches from my eager palm. So, there we sat
under a bright floodlight, with moths and pill bugs and ants scurrying about, and we
regarded one another.
Not content to just watch the creature, I reached out a giant, clumsy hand and tried to coax
my little visitor onto it. But she would have no part of this. With each oafish move I made,
she scampered or flew to a place just a few inches from my eager palm. So, there we sat
under a bright floodlight, with moths and pill bugs and ants scurrying about, and we
regarded one another.
This miniature mantis, with bulging eyes and bird
like beak, dark green wings folded neatly onto her
back, and front arms held in a graceful gesture of
prayer, looked right at me, and as if to say, “What do
you want?”, cocked her head with the slow elegance
of a Geisha. And it made me think that we humans
are getting good at building robots to go do our
bidding under the ocean and out in space. We’re
getting good at designing clickity-clackity
contraptions that move as we program them to. But
when it comes to beauty and economy of motion, we
have all so long to go to match the Designer of this
world.
like beak, dark green wings folded neatly onto her
back, and front arms held in a graceful gesture of
prayer, looked right at me, and as if to say, “What do
you want?”, cocked her head with the slow elegance
of a Geisha. And it made me think that we humans
are getting good at building robots to go do our
bidding under the ocean and out in space. We’re
getting good at designing clickity-clackity
contraptions that move as we program them to. But
when it comes to beauty and economy of motion, we
have all so long to go to match the Designer of this
world.
Cockroach (Blattellidae) fossil from the Crato
Formation, Lower Cretaceous, Brazil. Discovered
by Dave Martill, University of Portsmouth. Fossil
photo and description by Federica Menon,
University of Manchester Palaeontology and
Palaeobotany Department
Formation, Lower Cretaceous, Brazil. Discovered
by Dave Martill, University of Portsmouth. Fossil
photo and description by Federica Menon,
University of Manchester Palaeontology and
Palaeobotany Department
As we observed one another, I wondered if this
small living thing was as curious about me as I about
it. Or did she in her insect-mind just think something
small living thing was as curious about me as I about
it. Or did she in her insect-mind just think something
like, “Big thing troublesome and annoying – must
leave.” It’s hard enough to guess at what my dogs and cat are thinking. And insects,
creatures far more ancient than the mammals, surely possess an intelligence that is infinitely
removed from human understanding. Yet their being, physical and otherwise, is an object
my wonder finds immediately close.
leave.” It’s hard enough to guess at what my dogs and cat are thinking. And insects,
creatures far more ancient than the mammals, surely possess an intelligence that is infinitely
removed from human understanding. Yet their being, physical and otherwise, is an object
my wonder finds immediately close.
As we observed one another, I wondered if this
small living thing was as curious about me as I
about it. Or did she in her insect-mind just think
something like, “Big thing troublesome and
annoying – mustleave.” It’s hard enough to guess at
what my dogs and cat are thinking. And insects,
creatures far more ancient than the mammals, surely
possess an intelligence that is infinitely removed
from human understanding. Yet their being,
physical and otherwise, is an object my wonder
finds immediately close.
The little insect fled my last brutish attempt at
contact, flying away to a position of safety well
away from my insistent groping. Alas. Another
attempt by humans to contact an alien world falls
short. But I swear I saw an alien that night. And if I
ever do catch my little friend, I’m going to bring
her inside and show my wife.
That’s when I’ll get to see stars, too.
small living thing was as curious about me as I
about it. Or did she in her insect-mind just think
something like, “Big thing troublesome and
annoying – mustleave.” It’s hard enough to guess at
what my dogs and cat are thinking. And insects,
creatures far more ancient than the mammals, surely
possess an intelligence that is infinitely removed
from human understanding. Yet their being,
physical and otherwise, is an object my wonder
finds immediately close.
The little insect fled my last brutish attempt at
contact, flying away to a position of safety well
away from my insistent groping. Alas. Another
attempt by humans to contact an alien world falls
short. But I swear I saw an alien that night. And if I
ever do catch my little friend, I’m going to bring
her inside and show my wife.
That’s when I’ll get to see stars, too.
Another Story from An
Untamed Yard:
The Taming of The Cat
Untamed Yard:
The Taming of The Cat
PICTURES OF AMERICA
* The Wild, Wild West - Where the Deer
and Tarantulas Play
* The Skeeters n' Gators of the
Okefenokee
* The Cool and Misty Shenandoah Valley
* The Elegant Butterflies of Callaway
Gardens
* The Wild, Wild West - Where the Deer
and Tarantulas Play
* The Skeeters n' Gators of the
Okefenokee
* The Cool and Misty Shenandoah Valley
* The Elegant Butterflies of Callaway
Gardens
A Song from An Untamed
Yard:
Give Some Honey to the Bee
Yard:
Give Some Honey to the Bee