A few days after Brownbeard’s conversation with his father, two letters
came to the house. Both were addressed to Brownbeard. One letter was
from the top accounting firm in all of the colonies. It read as follows:
came to the house. Both were addressed to Brownbeard. One letter was
from the top accounting firm in all of the colonies. It read as follows:
Dear Mr. Short Stubbly,
We are still waiting to hear a response from
you regarding our offer of employment. We
can only wait a little longer. If we do not hear
from you within the week, we will have to give
the position to someone else. Should you
decide to accept our offer, we will look
forward to your immediate arrival in
Philadelphia.
Sincerely,
J. P. Bugaboo
V. P. of Personnel
Hotter Trotter Consulting
you regarding our offer of employment. We
can only wait a little longer. If we do not hear
from you within the week, we will have to give
the position to someone else. Should you
decide to accept our offer, we will look
forward to your immediate arrival in
Philadelphia.
Sincerely,
J. P. Bugaboo
V. P. of Personnel
Hotter Trotter Consulting
Brownbeard read the letter and sighed. “Philadelphia,” he thought. “That
would be exciting, but all so far away from home. I just don’t know.”
Brownbeard looked at the second letter. It had no return address.
“Strange,” he thought, and proceeded to open the letter. Instantly recognizing
the handwriting, a smile spread over his face. It was from his highly
successful, famous cousin - Blackbeard the Pirate! The letter read as follows:
Halloo Cuz!
It is I, your highly successful, famous cousin
- Blackbeard the Pirate. I, and my band of
desperate desperados, will be sailing into your
town in a few nights. I can’t say exactly when,
but be ready for a-knockin’ at your door
sometime past midnight. I will only be able to
stick around until sunrise. I was hoping we
could discuss a little business.
Sincerely,
B.B.
“Wow!” thought Brownbeard. “B.B. is coming to town and wants to talk
business with me! I wonder what about? Should I tell Mom and Dad?
Hmmm . . . I guess not. Mom and Dad aren’t exactly fond of their nephew’s
choice of a career. They would just worry more than they are already.”
Brownbeard knew his cousin would be in town three nights hence. B.B. and
his crew only sailed into town on nights with a new moon. Blackbeard lived
in constant fear that the authorities might capture and arrest him. After all,
Blackbeard was a pirate. Pirates make their livings robbing people of their
possessions. Pirates are thieves in ships. On the night of a new moon, it is
very dark and difficult for the Governor’s men to see if Blackbeard and his
crew are in town causing trouble.
Three nights later, just past midnight, while Brownbeard waited quietly by the
front door, there came a soft rapping. Brownbeard slowly opened the door
and blinked. A huge blotch of darkness filled the entire doorway.
“B.B.?” Brownbeard asked tentatively.
“Heh, heh, heh,” came a low, rumbling laugh from the darkness. A hand two
times larger than your average man’s reached through the doorway and
snatched Brownbeard by the collar into the night. Brownbeard landed on his
feet right in front of an immense black figure. As the door to his parent’s
home shut, he could not see anything even though his eyes were wide open.
Brownbeard’s heart thumped loudly.
“Relax, cuz,” a familiar voice gently boomed, like canon-fire heard from
miles away. “I would hear your heart beatin’ from the far shore of the Seven
Sea’s seventh sea! Heh! Heh! Heh!”
“Tar and feather a mackerel!” Brownbeard hissed. “Don’t do that B.B.! You
scared the sea salt right out of my blood!”
Blackbeard laughed more.
“Since when did ye have a drop of ocean in them land-lubber veins of yours?
And how be it that I always scare ya the same way every time I come to
Uncle’s and Auntie’s?” chided the pirate.
“Well, to the first question, it’s just an expression,” answered Brownbeard
defensively. “As to the second . . . well . . . I don’t know! That’s a really
good question!”
“Ah! Cuz! How’d ya like to get more then a meager drop of real briny blood
coursin’ through that land lovin’ heart of yours?” asked Blackbeard.
“Real sea water? What are you talking about B.B.?”
would be exciting, but all so far away from home. I just don’t know.”
Brownbeard looked at the second letter. It had no return address.
“Strange,” he thought, and proceeded to open the letter. Instantly recognizing
the handwriting, a smile spread over his face. It was from his highly
successful, famous cousin - Blackbeard the Pirate! The letter read as follows:
Halloo Cuz!
It is I, your highly successful, famous cousin
- Blackbeard the Pirate. I, and my band of
desperate desperados, will be sailing into your
town in a few nights. I can’t say exactly when,
but be ready for a-knockin’ at your door
sometime past midnight. I will only be able to
stick around until sunrise. I was hoping we
could discuss a little business.
Sincerely,
B.B.
“Wow!” thought Brownbeard. “B.B. is coming to town and wants to talk
business with me! I wonder what about? Should I tell Mom and Dad?
Hmmm . . . I guess not. Mom and Dad aren’t exactly fond of their nephew’s
choice of a career. They would just worry more than they are already.”
Brownbeard knew his cousin would be in town three nights hence. B.B. and
his crew only sailed into town on nights with a new moon. Blackbeard lived
in constant fear that the authorities might capture and arrest him. After all,
Blackbeard was a pirate. Pirates make their livings robbing people of their
possessions. Pirates are thieves in ships. On the night of a new moon, it is
very dark and difficult for the Governor’s men to see if Blackbeard and his
crew are in town causing trouble.
Three nights later, just past midnight, while Brownbeard waited quietly by the
front door, there came a soft rapping. Brownbeard slowly opened the door
and blinked. A huge blotch of darkness filled the entire doorway.
“B.B.?” Brownbeard asked tentatively.
“Heh, heh, heh,” came a low, rumbling laugh from the darkness. A hand two
times larger than your average man’s reached through the doorway and
snatched Brownbeard by the collar into the night. Brownbeard landed on his
feet right in front of an immense black figure. As the door to his parent’s
home shut, he could not see anything even though his eyes were wide open.
Brownbeard’s heart thumped loudly.
“Relax, cuz,” a familiar voice gently boomed, like canon-fire heard from
miles away. “I would hear your heart beatin’ from the far shore of the Seven
Sea’s seventh sea! Heh! Heh! Heh!”
“Tar and feather a mackerel!” Brownbeard hissed. “Don’t do that B.B.! You
scared the sea salt right out of my blood!”
Blackbeard laughed more.
“Since when did ye have a drop of ocean in them land-lubber veins of yours?
And how be it that I always scare ya the same way every time I come to
Uncle’s and Auntie’s?” chided the pirate.
“Well, to the first question, it’s just an expression,” answered Brownbeard
defensively. “As to the second . . . well . . . I don’t know! That’s a really
good question!”
“Ah! Cuz! How’d ya like to get more then a meager drop of real briny blood
coursin’ through that land lovin’ heart of yours?” asked Blackbeard.
“Real sea water? What are you talking about B.B.?”
“Hoist the Jolly Roger
and prepare to be
entertained” - Daniel Jolley,
Amazon UK #2 Reviewer
and prepare to be
entertained” - Daniel Jolley,
Amazon UK #2 Reviewer
Send Yer Enemies
A Copy Today . . .
A Copy Today . . .
Avast ye sea scoundrel!
Be ye likin' yer web
version of Brownbeard?
Course ye arrrggh! Ye
know, even though
electrons may grow on
trees, it costs money to
harvest them. So why not
make a donation to this
website? All proceeds go
to researching cures for
tropical rashes which
plague pirates.
Be ye likin' yer web
version of Brownbeard?
Course ye arrrggh! Ye
know, even though
electrons may grow on
trees, it costs money to
harvest them. So why not
make a donation to this
website? All proceeds go
to researching cures for
tropical rashes which
plague pirates.
Alan J. Levine
* * *
Chapter Two - A Visit in the Night
“Come with me to the Barbarous Parrot Tavern and
we’ll talk business as I said in me letter.”
It was awfully late to be out. In fact, it was so late,
it was already the next day.
“Don’t you want to come in and say ‘Hi’ to Mom
and Dad,” asked Brownbeard.
“Aw, laddy! If I had the time I would love to see
me dear Auntie and Uncle. But ya know the
Governor has a high price on me head! I gotta be
out to sea by sunrise. Now, let’s ye and I go down
to the Parrot and talk serious,” said Blackbeard.
“Okay,” said Brownbeard. “Late is late, but
business is business!”
“Thatta boy,” said Blackbeard as he took his cousin
by the arm, and together they walked through the
piney woods towards the bad part of town.
we’ll talk business as I said in me letter.”
It was awfully late to be out. In fact, it was so late,
it was already the next day.
“Don’t you want to come in and say ‘Hi’ to Mom
and Dad,” asked Brownbeard.
“Aw, laddy! If I had the time I would love to see
me dear Auntie and Uncle. But ya know the
Governor has a high price on me head! I gotta be
out to sea by sunrise. Now, let’s ye and I go down
to the Parrot and talk serious,” said Blackbeard.
“Okay,” said Brownbeard. “Late is late, but
business is business!”
“Thatta boy,” said Blackbeard as he took his cousin
by the arm, and together they walked through the
piney woods towards the bad part of town.